


Four Years, One Day

by polandspringz



Category: gen:LOCK (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, alternate take on the time period between episode 1 and the recruits arriving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-06 22:56:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18226514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polandspringz/pseuds/polandspringz
Summary: Julian was alive. Julian had been alive for over four years. All of that time- the funeral, thethoughts,the recovery- it all was a lie. It all was a fake. Julian had never died, he had never disappeared. Everything was a lie.Miranda deserved a drink, Jodie and Leon had decided.No one stopped her when she asked for more.An alternative take on what happens the night after the ESU comes to the Anvil.





	Four Years, One Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am currently working my way through a ton of prompts for gen:LOCK and my OCs, so please be patient as I am trying to get many shorter fics published! A few of them may not be published here right away, so please check my tumblr if you want to see all of my writing! Anyway, this was a request submitted to me for a Miranda-focused story based on the prompt "You're gone, I watched you disappear..." Enjoy!

She sobered up when she walked into a wall for the third time. She hadn’t drank like this in a while, the part of her brain that wasn’t fuzzy mused, but after today, Jodie and Leon insisted that she was entitled to it. Now she was regretting letting the two of them enable her, she could tell she was going to seriously regret it in the morning, and could only pray that the Union decided not to strike tomorrow. She had managed to survive four years through this war, she would hate for one bad decision to send her and her friends to their deaths.

 

She couldn’t let this show tomorrow, she thought as she started stumbling in what she hoped was the direction of her room. The Colonel had never seen her like this, Jodie maybe, but Leon and her had a perfect record when it came to their behavior both on and off hours at the base. She really did not want to ruin her track record _now_ of all times, when she knew she needed combat to help her clear her head after everything that had happened today, but first, she had to get to bed.

 

She thought she had shaken off the worst of the haze, but that was proven false when she took one step and went tumbling to the ground. Her hand caught one of the structures jutting off wall and she managed to slump to her knees. Where was she even? She had been drinking with her boys when all of the sudden she was in the hall. What had she been doing? Did Leon and Jodie go to bed? Were they still in her room?

 

“Oh god,” she felt her throat muscles convulsing, and she forced herself to bite the bile rising back down. She would _not_ vomit in the middle of the Anvil floor, especially when she didn’t have the ability or the motor skills to clean it up herself. With one hand covering her mouth, she glanced around, her eyes lagging behind even as she slowly turned her head so as to not agitate everything inside her that kept wanting to swirl and swirl all the way up her esophagus and out her mouth.

 

She had wandered pretty far in her drunken stupor, it had seemed. She definitely had gone past her room, and it was at least a fifteen minute walk back. The Anvil was big, but never before had it felt _so_ big to Miranda that she debated just lying on the cold floor here and letting the Colonel find her the next day and lecture her. She really shouldn’t just lie here, the rational part of her tried to urge her to make the walk back, but she really didn’t feel like standing right now. Her eyes caught the watch on her wrist.

 

Migas hadn’t joined them for drinking, which was odd considering Miranda would’ve thought he needed to most therapy to recover from what they all had witnessed today. He might be asleep, but then again she had known him to work all night for the past four years, so maybe he wouldn’t mind coming all the way down towards the science wing of the Anvil to drag her back to the Striders’ dorms.

 

She had managed to get her pointer finger steady enough to begin to navigate the watch, pressing the button to pull up the hologram display. The blue light that exploded in her face was something she did not account for though, and as she grumbled and fumbled around to close up the screen, she quickly decided that doing that would not be a good idea again, even if she was going to lower the brightness first. So, she was stuck walking or waiting here until morning, it seemed.

 

She gave another look around, hopefully there was someone else up or patrolling on guard duty that could help her out. She wasn’t on the most friendly terms with people outside of her squadron, but, she was sure with her track record and her fame among the Striders anyone would be _happy_ to help her.

 

She groaned as she got to her feet. She really hated how self-absorbed she sounded right now. She just really wanted to get to bed-

 

As if her ears had just started working, she suddenly realized there was music, wafting down the hallway. If she remembered correctly, just down this way was an elevator, and although she knew it wouldn’t bring her horizontal across the base to her room, maybe she could find some people on the next level that could help her. She started hobbling in the direction of the sound, her hand on the wall as she leaned over her knees. She _really_ didn’t want to fall over again.

_Hey, everybody, let's have some fun!_

_You only live but once-_

 

As she rounded the corner, she was hit by white light coming through a window to one of the labs. Hissing, she covered her eyes as she continued, not caring that she was probably smudging the glass as she went by with her hand slamming against it as she walked. She really hoped she would wake someone up, maybe they would shut off that damn music then.

_And when you're dead you're done, so_

_Let the good times roll, let the good times roll_

Miranda opened her eyes.

 

**Wait.**

* * *

 

“Chase, it appears Ms. Worth has come to visit you.”

 

The hologram dissipated and then reformed in a new spot a moment later. A glitch when the person “jumped in surprise” sometimes. Dr. Weller and Yasamin were lingering in the lab to help set things up before retiring, but as they were winding down Caliban was doing most of the set up and the two were keeping Chase company. Yasamin was talking to him while Dr. Weller made sure all of the life support machines were properly working and arranged, to make sure nothing bad would happen overnight. Chase didn’t like looking at his body much, so having Yasamin stay up and distract him meant he didn’t have to try and ignore what the Doc was doing. It sounded as though Chase was offering to show Yasamin how to dance, and his daughter was rolling her eyes and refusing, although their laughter was melodic alongside the music wafting through lab’s speakers.

 

It was nice that even though Yaz’s hand would ultimately slip through Julian’s, they could pretend with no hard feelings. Hopefully the Colonel wouldn’t get too angry that they were up late, the music was relatively low after all.

 

Dr. Weller had finished and straightened up, readying to round the tank to speak to the other two when he saw her. Chase had spoken much about her during the four years, when Rufus had been introduced to her today, he already felt guilt at the gravity of the things he would be rocking her world with today.

 

Chase, meanwhile, was staring almost entranced towards the entranceway, Miranda looking back through the window with an almost terrified expression.

 

Instead of the happiness he expected to hear coming from Chase, Weller watched as he narrowed his eyes and asked, “What is she doing here?”

 

“Maybe she finally warmed up to you being here?” Yaz tried to supply, but Chase brushed past her, moving forward.

 

“No. It’s two in the morning. She would never be up this late.”

 

“Chase, it’s been four years, maybe she’s-”

 

“No!” He practically shouted, interrupting her, “I know Miranda. She was always asleep or in her room on time, she was always top class, unlike the rest of us slackers. Jodie, Leon, and I, she would always lecture us when we were tired at training from playing Siege late with Migas. Why is she all the way down here?”

 

“Perhaps Migas told her to come by? Is it so strange to think that she would want to talk to you a bit more after all this time?”

 

“I’m afraid Ms. Worth does not look as well as I had initially thought,” Dr. Weller said, stepping alongside them as he adjusted his glasses, “Would you like to have a moment alone with her Julian?”

 

“You guys don’t have to leave, I’ll go outside and talk to her. I don’t think she’s ready to see the tank just yet.”

 

“Best of luck to you,” was Weller’s blessing as Chase warped to outside the lab. Yasamin turned away to help Caliban with some things.

 

* * *

 

Miranda felt like she had the wind knocked out of her. She was looking at a ghost, it was obviously a ghost, he was transparent, his figure fading and reforming. And now he was just staring at her, him and the two other people who had arrived today. They were standing in front of something, and the music was playing, and the light from the lab was hurting her _and Chase was there,_ and it was altogether _too much._

 

Then, he appeared right in front of her.

 

“Miranda, what are you doing here? It’s late.”

 

He was reprimanding her, part of her brain processed, but all logical thought was overridden as she shakily inhaled, her hands coming up from her sides as she started to reach out, but then stopped.

  
And then she tried again.

 

“It’s late? Is that all you have to say?” she asked, her voice small and quiet with disbelief. She could see through him to the elevator, she knew he was a ghost. He had to be, but still-

 

Her hand slid through him. She faintly felt the buzz of the pixels and array of light dance and bump around to make space for her mass passing through as all holograms did, but that part didn’t register all the way.

 

Chase watched her open and close her hand a few times, and he waited patiently for her to finish. A long time ago, the sense of touch would send buzzes back to his own body as well, and having grown accustomed to that (not many people at the ESU interacted with his hologram physically, which was fine, that wasn’t the time nor the place for that), it still was jarring to see her hand pierce through him and to feel _nothing._ He tried to suppress the desire he had to reach out and embrace her, knowing he would only slip through her and the cracks of their lost time and love.

 

Chase inhaled and exhaled, his body back in the tank absorbing the air from the artificial tubes and mask that surrounded him. For a moment, his senses were back in that gelatinous tank, and he thought he had been jolted out a dream, but then he opened his eyes and looked down.

 

That was his first mistake.

 

Her brown eyes were so wide and scared, her mouth agape, and it was incomparable to the shock she had shown when he walked out into the briefing room and back into her life. She looked traumatized, and as her hand slipped out of him and she pulled it and her foot back, he had to ask himself:

 

_Could he ever re-enter her life?_

He could see all the years ravaged on her face, that scar was not the only proof. He waited for her to speak, to hear her say his name, _anything-_

“You’re gone, I… I watched you disappear…”

 

A pause then.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

_Not that._

As she took another step away, her body turning and twisting as if she was ready to sprint away, he tried to swallow down his pain and assess the situation.

 

“Miranda, you’re drunk. You need to go back to sleep.”

 

Although he had been startled by her appearance, he couldn’t ignore the glaze that kept drifting in and out of her eyes, the way she was acting, speaking. He had seen her like this once, and it had ended with a vulnerable morning, a Miranda more open and laid bare like was ripping his heart out now. She had probably been with Leon and Jodie then, and he didn’t blame them. It wasn’t long ago, _it was four years, he reminded himself,_ where he would come back to the Anvil and slump out of his jet and into his room and wait for Miranda to set down a glass and Migas to bring the bottle and all of his friends to slowly file in as they tried not to cry in the face of all that they had witnessed.

 

_He couldn’t go back to that life now, he knew that much. But, still…_

“Miranda, come on. Let’s get you back to your room. Is it where it used to be?” He started walking past her, back towards where she had wandered from. He wanted to believe that he had come a long way just to see him, but now he knew it was nothing more than a drunken stupor. If Miranda truly got into it, she could forget her name, family, and more. There were too many times and too many bars where he had to help escort her back away from other equally drunk soldiers who had looser morals and respect for human decency. As he passed by her, he tried to ignore the way she flinched and jumped back.

 

“Wait, where are you going?” She called out after him. He motioned for her to follow him, trying to flash her his characteristic smile.

 

“Back to bed, silly. Don’t you want to rest up?”

 

“Ms. Worth,” Dr. Weller was standing in the the doorway, his body bathed in white light that was oh-so-bright but shadowing and dim all the same. Sterile, one might call it. Ephemeral, it was to Miranda though, and the old man seemed to be back lit by a holy glow, “You have a big day tomorrow. Julian will escort you back to your room.”

 

“Escort…? What do you mean? Why is he here?!” She shouted out, and Chase took a few fast steps forward. His feet could not skidd along the ground, but as his hologram struggled to keep up and projecting the harsh, sudden motion, there was the glittering noise of the hexagons moving together in a rush. Miranda whipped her head around, “Julian? Wait!”

 

Dr. Weller watched her run after him, and shook his head, backing into the lab. Yasamin came around, and placed her hand on his shoulder.

 

“I’ll make sure everything is alright,” she said, and followed into the dark slowly.

 

* * *

 

 

Miranda didn’t know what was happening. Julian was here. He was back, but he was running from her. She kept reaching out, her legs too heavy to carry her faster, and she kept stumbling, but the most he would do is smile at her over his shoulder. If she called out too loud though, she found she could get him to turn around. He would face her with a finger to his lips, and one hand would be extended to her. She would swipe to it, but he would skip away. She wanted to yell again and again, but since he shushed her, she would quiet for a while.

 

She was scared if she screamed, her sound would wisp him away.

 

Eventually, he seemed to vanish, and she almost stopped, but then she saw his blue light had jumped a bit farther ahead. He was standing in front of a door, doing something. She was getting closer. She lunged at him.

 

He teleported away just as the door opened. Two arms caught her before she fell.

 

“Miranda?” Leon’s groggy voice mumbled as he sought to right the woman who was slowly sliding towards the ground. Another face popped out from the darkness in the dorm room.

 

“Chase?”

 

It was Jodie. Leon looked up as he finished slinging Miranda’s arm over his shoulder, and Chase saw his mouth drop before he slowly closed it. Both men narrowed their eyes at him warily, and he could only watch as Jodie came up in front of Miranda, folding his arms as Leon wrapped an arm around her waist to support her.

 

“What are you doing here?” Jodie tone seemed accusatory. Chase instantly could tell he wasn’t wanted here.

 

“She was wandering the halls wasted. She ended up outside the ESU, so I helped her get back.”

 

Miranda mumbled out a few _Julians,_ her eyes blinking slowly as she tried to move away from Leon, struggling when Jodie turned around to restrain her too.

 

“He’s here! Why are you trying to keep him away? He’s here, he’s back!”

 

“It’s just a dream, Miranda. Go inside and go to bed, okay?” Jodie pried her off of Leon beginning to push her into the dark room. Chase surged forward.

 

“Hey, man, be careful! She’s still confused. You know how she can get.”  


“I don’t blame her.”

 

Leon’s icy voice cut through his thoughts. As Jodie disappeared into the darkness, Leon leaned against the door frame. Deep down, he knew coming back after four years would never be easy but-

 

“Leon, I was just trying to get her back here. She was scared when she saw me. She thought I was… a ghost.”

 

He thought about just going back to the tank, teleporting out of here would be easy. He could listen to music and laugh a little more with Yaz and Doc until she had to sleep and he needed to do some work for tomorrow. He missed his friends, but he had Migas, and did he really need to ever be out and about and talking to anyone besides at briefings? Caliban could keep him company if he really needed it. He was never much of a talker but-

 

“Frankly, I think we all are going to think that for a little while,” Leon sighed, “But, I think time will help us confirm that you’re real.”

 

He gave Chase a warm smile, one that he hadn’t seen for years, and so Chase nodded.

 

“Yeah, I get it. Don’t worry, I’ve got all the time in the world now.”

 

“Just a little bit more time, buddy. A few days at least, we’re supposed to help in training you, so I’m sure things will settle in soon. Migas said he stopped by to see you, like, the _real you._ He said it helped him a bit. Maybe I’ll swing by soon. Tomorrow, maybe.”

 

“Just… make sure she’s alright for me? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her that scared.”

 

“Don’t worry, Chase, we’ve got a handle on it,” _for four years,_ was unsaid, “Thanks for bringing her back to us. Goodnight.”

 

The door slowly closed, and Chase was left in the darkness of the corridor once more.

 

He probably should just teleport back, he told himself. Save himself the sad and lonely walk of shame and existentialism back. Still, he turned his body as if to take the first step, but was stopped by the sight of Yaz.

 

“Dr. Weller wanted me to follow you in case something bad happened. I do not know my way back to the lab. Can you accompany me?” She asked.

 

That was a lie, Chase knew with certainty. Yaz memorized the layout of places within minutes, on missions she had an excellent memory, recognizing cities she had never seen before and being able to find alleys or areas to hide in fast. She probably already had a ton of crawl spaces mapped out in case anyone found out about _her_ and needed to hide until him or Dr. Weller could sort things out. But, she knew the stories about Miranda, about his life before New York, his friends, Migas, everyone. She was probably just asking to make sure _he_ was okay.

 

But, even though he knew all of this, even though he knew she was lying, he couldn’t help but smile and walk forward.

 

“Sure.”

 

* * *

 

 

She woke up the next morning with a raging hangover, as was expected. She didn’t know what she had drank last night, only that it was strong, it was tearing apart her skull, and it was making every noise bleating and bleeding and shrill. She felt Jodie’s back by her hands, balled up in little fists, and she could hear Leon moving about getting dressed. Fumbling for her watch to read up on any updates from the Colonel, she rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom, not caring or checking to see if she was properly dressed or not.

 

It had been four years, and when everyone who is constantly on the verge of being killed or killing themselves are packed like sardines into little, steely gray rooms, you lose all sense of modesty.

 

Splashing her face with water turned out to be a bad idea, as the cold droplets stung her skin and eyes and made her migraine all the more colorful and she swayed in front of the sink. Grabbing her toothbrush ended up being a disaster too as she stumbled and knocked a cup, a bottle, and a razor down with a clatter, and Leon found her hunched over her knees, hands covering her eyes as she tried to process all the white light that was reflecting off of _everything._

“Apparently there are more people arriving for the ESU today, we have to read over some information about the gen:LOCK program since we’re in charge of training- Hey,” his voice dropped softer when he saw her, “You got pretty bad last night. Do you want to sit down?”

 

She nodded, not opening her eyes, and he helped her over to the lid of the toilet seat, kneeling down in front of her and cupping her face as she pulled her own hands away. He created a shadow over her to protect her, and could see the redness in her brown eyes.

 

“Can you blame me?” She growled, but it came out in more of a choked sob, “He was dead… They ripped him out of our lives, and he just expects us to continue on?”

 

“I don’t think he expects that at all. He…” Leon thought about what little he remembered from late last night. Although he had passed out far earlier than Miranda in the binge drinking, he still didn’t have the best memory, but he decided to bite back what he had seen. That was between Jodie and Miranda, not him, not _yet,_ he reminded himself, “Migas told me some things. It might be best for us to stop by the ESU today. We might figure some things out.”

 

“Well, I don’t want to see him.” She said, pulling away from him and folding her arms. Leon reached out and tugged one hand free to settle in her lap between her thighs, and he brushed his hand over her knuckles. He was silent and patient, and didn’t react when he felt her body begin to shudder, and her tears begin to fall on his skin as she leaned over and sobbed. He gave her a few minutes until her hand slipped away from his own and she pressed them against her eyes again. Then:

 

“Do you want me to get _it?”_

She nodded.

 

Leon went over to his bed, made sure Jodie was still asleep, and then rustled around underneath it, searching his stuff for _it._ An old hoodie, gray with tinges of blue, he folded the holy bundle in his arm and carried it back to the bathroom to offer to his queen. He wrapped it over her shoulders, and when she stood he stood behind her and helped each arm into each sleeve, going through the motions carefully. When he was done, he moved back, and let her zip the front, and then waited against the wall as she turned to the mirror.

 

She was a mess. Her hair was wild and knotted, clumping to her face where her sweat and tear tracks stained her skin. In the time Leon had left to get her the hoodie, she had managed to rub her eyes and skin raw, reddening them to the point that there was no way she wouldn’t look like a hot mess for the rest of the day.

 

“You have another hour until we have to actually be up and about. You should go back to sleep. I’ll handle Jodie.”

 

She fiddled with the hem of the jacket. It was true, if he saw this he would be angry but-

 

“Thank you, I’ll think I’ll take you up on that offer.”

 

Leon peeled himself off the wall once she had walked out, watching as she climbed into her own bed and curled up so the blankets were completely hiding her form. In a few minutes, she heard Jodie begin to grumble and get up, but Leon shush him, and then both boys were quiet as they went about their daily routine. Right before Leon and Jodie left, she felt a larger hand come by and pet her hair, leaning down to give her a kiss at the corner of her eye.

  
When she heard the door open and finally swish closed, she let her hands catch on the hood and tugged it over her head, pulling the fabric close and breathing in.

 


End file.
